A MARTÍNEZ, HOST:
Let's be honest. Families can be a lot sometimes. And I should know. I have a big one. Among many other family members, I was raised by my mom and her five sisters - my five tias - in one little house in Koreatown in Los Angeles. And while it was a lot sometimes, they made me, well, me. In her new book, "Tias And Primas," or aunts and cousins, author Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodriguez centers the women in her large Nicaraguan family. Her family's a lot like mine - a lot of people under one roof. And I asked Prisca what people are missing when they don't grow up with several generations in the same place.
PRISCA DORCAS MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: You miss, like, the richness of what it means to be influenced by that many different people 'cause, yeah, they all were raised probably in the same house and with the same ethics, but they're all going to be really different. It's a lot messier than having this, like, nuclear American family. You learn to - what you tolerate, what you can't tolerate. But you have to learn it on the go with these people because they are so invested in you as a person. And I've had to figure out how to be like, oh, you can't say that. But my partner has never had to figure that out with his family because it's just his parents, who barely talk about anything.
(LAUGHTER)
MARTÍNEZ: Yeah. So let me pick a couple of tias and primas, and describe them for us. So let's start off with la prima perfecta, which translated means the perfect cousin.
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: Yeah (laughter). You know her. She's probably the oldest, and she's just seen and not heard and is very respectful. She wears just the right length of skirt.
(LAUGHTER)
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: She gets the right grades. She makes her parents proud. Like, other parents compliment her parents for how good they did with her. So she is just holding on to, I think, a lot of pressure that was put on her. And ultimately, the book is to critique the systems in place that create this person. And I'm trying to give that prima permission to break free from it.
MARTÍNEZ: Latinas have all kinds of stereotypes built up on them through popular culture, through Hollywood - being submissive or spicy. Was that part of the reason why you wrote this book, to kind of just offer a different perspective on this?
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: A hundred percent. What is missing when we just focus on the spicy stereotype? Who do we lose along the way? So it was sort of, oh, we lose la tia who see's fantasmas. I think we lose people who have a lot more nuances to them, too.
MARTÍNEZ: So you mentioned a tia who see's fantasmas. So tell us who she is, the aunt who sees ghosts.
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: I was excited to write this one because when I try to tell people ghost encounters outside of Latina communities, I get looked at like I need to be institutionalized.
MARTÍNEZ: (Laughter).
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: And it just feels so unfair (laughter) to my experience growing up, where all my tias have ghost encounters - all of them - and so it was really normal to talk about it. So what can it be? - was the point of that chapter. So maybe there might be somebody who's struggling with mental health, but also maybe they're struggling with displacement. My mom's specific encounter with the paranormal is when people die, and she can't get to Nicaragua fast enough. And so they visit her and say goodbye to her. So I don't have an explanation for this tia. I just want her to exist. Like, what if we just allow it to be a creative outlet for people? She's not hurting anyone, so why don't we just not diminish her experiences with the paranormal?
MARTÍNEZ: So Prisca, if you ever come out with a new edition of the book, I wanted to offer two chapters that I could write for you. I have five aunts that I grew up with. Two of them are closer to my mom's age. My mom was the oldest. So those two I would consider las tias OG - the one - the older ones...
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: (Laughter).
MARTÍNEZ: ...The ones that are more rooted in Ecuador and the culture from the country that they came from. They were the ones that kept me connected to Ecuador, even though I was not born there. I was born here in the United States. And then there were three young ones. Those are the tias that I call tias nueva generacion - yeah, the new-generation aunts.
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: (Laughter).
MARTÍNEZ: They were the ones that were wearing their hair like Farrah Fawcett in the '70s. They were practicing their dance moves to the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack, you know? Does that sound like maybe the outline of two new chapters for your book?
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: Yes. And I feel like the nueva generacion ones might see themselves in some of the tias that are in the book.
MARTÍNEZ: As much as is a fun book - it's a very fun book - I also read that your family does not acknowledge that you're a writer, and they don't read your books. What is that...
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: Yeah.
MARTÍNEZ: ...Like for you? And why? Why don't they?
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: I grew up in a really conservative, traditional - whatever you want to call it - household. My dad is a pastor. My mom is very much the dignified tia, if you read it. And I've become tu tia la loca. I've become someone so strange to them, so outspoken compared to the way that we were told to be as women in my household, the way we were expected to be, you know, a husband's ayuda idonea, you know, their helper, their - we're supposed to build them up. I don't do that. I critique, and I scream, and I cuss, and I think it's scary. It's like an OGs versus the new era of kids. Like, that conflict that's happening, that can be really scary if your family's still holding on to very traditional values.
MARTÍNEZ: So Prisca, I mean, sometimes when I have an author on, my last question is, what do you hope people take away from the book? But I want to change that question specifically for you. If your family ever decided to read this book, what do you hope your own family takes away from it?
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: I hope that they see how much love I'm trying to pour into it. I think that in their imagination, I hate them. Critique feels like hate. And I'm trying to create a space where they can be whoever they need to be because they were just surviving a new country, new systems, new government, everything. And I hope that they see how much I appreciate what they've done.
MARTÍNEZ: Her book is all about family. Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodriguez is the author of "Tias And Primas: On Knowing And Loving The Women Who Raised (ph) Us." Prisca, thank you very much.
MOJICA RODRIGUEZ: Thank you.
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